The Diary of Working Mama..

Our first trip to Jakarta and over sea without my late husband. Deeply missed him, almost 8 months, he is away. Al fatihah. We had a great trip to Jakarta- a very short one, 3 days and 2 nights. Enjoyed shopping and of course, the food. My boys are looking forward for another trip. insya Allah. But we are sad to hear that there was some thing happened a week after we came back from Jakarta.

1st October my kids and I took the first ever flight to Kota Bharu from KLIA, the first time with my late/almarhum husband. We arrived safely in Kota Bharu air port. We took a cab to my uncle's house. His third son reception wedding. The journey itself reminds me of my late husband, who usually the lead in the journey, ensuring everything is ready before we fly. Alhamdulillah, our doa is always with him. Congratulation to my little cousin for his wedding, it was like a family gathering- where every one is there. On 3rd October we hired a Vellfire to visit alharhum's mother. She looks ok but slimmer I guess. We really miss him! 4th OCtober, we just enjoyed Kota Bharu- just walk to Old Town WHite Cafe to enjoy the breakfst. The hotel that we stayed- Viana Hotel is adjacent to Wakaf Che Yeh- a popular spot for shopping. The kids- Faris and Fateh went there twice- shopping. As for me, just enjoying the company of my little daughter in the hotel's room. We checked out and spend ...

UPSR Examination starts this week. Frankly speaking, I am quite nervous as a mama. I know how well prepared is my son. Often he is glued with mobile phone or playing footballs. I realized he has a high spirit on playing footballs but when it comes to reading. Masya Allah. Yes, parenting is challenging and I need to polish that skills I guess.

Hari Jumaat ini merupakan hari Jumaat terakhir untuk bulan berkat dan penuh kerahmatan ini, bulan ramadan. Jumaat sebegini jugalah arwah suami pergi untuk selamanya. Terkenangkan kebaikannya. Melayan lagu "kurung biru" tanda kasih dan ingatan buat arwah. Betapa selalu mengingati diri ini, untuk mensyukuri apa yang ada. Dengan sisa usia yang ada, moga amal ibadahku bertambah.

Allah, cepat sungguh ku rasa kan masa berlalu, rasa macam baru dengar iklan nak puasa, alih2 ada pulak iklan nak berhari raya aidil fitri. Persiapan kali ini, boleh dikatakan tak masuk dalam perancangan. Apa yang ada, sarung jelah nanti. Syahdu tanpa arwah suami di sisi. Apatah lagi arwah memang rajin, bab-bab persediaan raya. Terasa kosong dan kehilangan yang amat atas permergianmu yang mengejut. Allah lebih menyayangimu. Tenanglah dirimu di sana. Apa yang pasti, ziarah kubur pada 1 Syawal nanti. Al fatihah ku titipkan buat mu setiap detik.

Lailatul Qadar, that is our aim for the last 10 days of Ramadan. Masya Allah, how fast time flies. I desperately need more ibadah to be done. I am so slow in adding sunnah ibadah. Alhamdulillah, my third son is doing well, despite this Ramadan, is the first attempt to sawm. I believe if my late husband is around, he must be proud of him, Fakhri Irsyadi. He has been so comforting and supporting me all this while. Although sometimes, he might be not in the good mood. That is Fakhri Irsyadi. My doa for him and his brothers: Faris and Fathullah.

Allah, melalui ramadan dengan penuh kesyukuran. namun sayu hati mengenangkan arwah suami yang telah pergi. Tanpanya di sisi, terasa kosong dunia ini dirasakan. Namun dipujuk-pujuk hati, mungkin ada hikmah di sebalik perpisahan sementara ini. Anakku yang berumur tujuh tahun siap berpesan. sabar Mama, di akhirat, kita jumpa Baba nanti. Ya, sabarlah hati. Ajal maut Allah yang menentukan. Doaku agar diberi kekuatan meneruskan hari-hari mendatang bersama empat cahaya mata- tanda cinta aku dan arwah suami. Moga mereka, menjadi bekalan kami di akhirat nanti. Al Fatihah, Abang Mohamad Zahar bin Sulaiman.

Hampir sepuluh hari ramadan berlalu, alhamdulillah, ku lalui dengan penuh kesyukuran, diberikan peluang dan rezeki menikmati bulan ramadan yang mulia ini bersama-sama anak-anak serta mama baba dan adik-adik tercinta. Ini merupakan ramadan pertama untuk anakku yang berumur 7 tahun, yang pertama, maksudnya pertama kali menjalani ibadah secara penuh, genap sehari puasa tanpa culas. Alhamdulillah, ku nampak dia gigih dan berasa teruja menjalani ibadah puasa. Apabila melihat ku bersedih, siap berpesan, mama tu jangan nak menangis sahaja. Allah, tersentak aku dari lamunan, teringatkan arwah suami. Yang si kecil Farha pula, apabila ku kata Babanya tiada setiap kali beliau bertanya, dia siap jawab, Farha kan ada, Mama? Allah, anak-anakku, semoga kalian mengerti, bahawa, ajal, rezeki dan jodoh, Allah jua yang menentukan Nya. Sudah tiba masanya, ku teruskan tadarrus hari ini. Ramadan, hadir mu memberikan ketenangan abadi buat ku. Insya Allah. Semoga arwah suami, Mohamad Zahar, tenang di sana dan...

Ahlan Wa Sahlan Ramadan 2016, alhamdulillah, dipanjangkan usia menempuh bulan yang mulia lagi barakah ini. Ramadan pertama tanpa arwah suami, yang telah menemui pencipta Nya Mac 2016. Betapa hebatnya rindu dirasakan kepada arwah suami, yang telah pergi selama-lamanya. Walaupun apa yang terjadi, redha dan pasrah dengan ketentuannya. Jikalau bermain dengan perkataan "kalau", macam-macam perasaan yang timbul. Mungkin ada rahmat disebalik yang berlaku. Doaku agar diberikan ketabahan untuk terus mendidik anak-anak yang ditinggalkan. Hati mana yang tak saya, apabila si kecil, yang baru nak menganjak 4 tahun, meratib Babanya selalu. Where are you Baba? Doakan kesejahteraannya di sana. Moga dipertemukan kami sekeluarga, satu hari nanti, di Jannatul Firdausi.

Al Fatihah. Till we meet in Jannah.

This month, February, a little bit relaxing, no class/lecture at all for me, also there are public holiday coming in February. How time flies, I have not started mentoring my second son big exam. He has three big exams this year. Doa for him. Being exam oriented also is good, it tests your discipline, how to get job on time.

My eldest son obtained a week leave from his school, whereas his little brother only two days off from school. Whatever it is, enjoy the holiday before it ends.

Masya Allah, how time flies, as I writing the blog, it is already February 2016. 2016 means a lot for me. Insya Allah.